I didn’t tell you that yesterday’s post was Part 1, but this is Part 2. So, that automatically makes yesterday’s post Part 1. Clearly unintended. 

 

I was thinking last night and this morning about my blog yesterday. I realized a crucial part was missing. I don’t want everyone walking from my blog thinking that I am harsh and view everything on a scale of black and white. I am harsh. I do see everything as black and white. That would be why my favorite words from Paul are “stop sinning.” But just because I view my world this way does not mean I expect everywhere else will as well. I lived the first 20 something years of my life without emotions, but over the last few years I have learned emotions. With that comes a bit of softness and compassion. I guess it is important that I show that.

 

Seemingly, my blog from yesterday communicates that we must be convicted of sin every time we meet with God. Now, I am not totally disagreeing with that. I just need to make an important point. 

 

God is a god that deeply cares for and loves each and every one of us. Sometimes we just need our God. We just need to sit at His feet and weep and be in His embrace. I guess just like women just want someone to listen and not fix their problems. I am definitely not that woman. I’m a thinker and fixer. Oops. Sorry. 

Anyway. There are times that we meet with God to have our needs met. That is important. I think for most people sitting at the feet of God and being reminded of His great love and care is needed and serves to be their worship that day. I overthink everything. Truly. I just told you that I was a thinker, not a feeler (I’m learning). Even on the days that my time with God is complete surrender and rest in His presence, I walk away challenged and convicted. Follow me.

 

Vulnerable moment…..I have major trust issues with God. I have to be reminded numerous times throughout every single day of my life. I do not trust that my life is in God’s hands. Apparently I think He is incapable of caring for me. So I seek love in other places. I try to make things happen on my own. I try to get what I want. I dwell on negative things in my life. My trust issues are sinful. If I just trusted at every moment I would be different. I would not walk down half of the paths that I do. Many of those paths lead me to horrible places and emotions. I hate emotions. 

 

My point. When I have days that God’s love is just poured over me continually, I still walk away challenged and convicted because usually my need for that amount of poured on love is a result of me walking away from His constant love in the first place. What am I convicted of? Not trusting my God to be who He says He is. What am I challenged to do? Live a life that whole-heartedly trusts Him. 

 

“For the word of God is living and active and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”

Hebrews 4:12

 

God’s word is living and active. It applies to you now. It should be working in you now. It is sharp and it should pierce. It reveals what is in our hearts. It reveals my trusts issues, thus I am challenge and convicted. 

 

Hear me, though. God knows that we need Him. God knows that we need to sit at His feet and be  comforted by Him. God knows we are weak and need His strength. Have those days, please. Let your God be such that you cry out “Abba! Father!”

 

I just felt I needed to clarify that point; because it is important. 

 

 

ON A LIGHTER NOTE…..

 

I spent most of my day working on worship for the upcoming projects. I went to the “centro” this morning to get some work done. I love the environment. I could live here. It’s old and clean.

 

Each kid needed to be in a different place at pretty much the same time this afternoon; so while Charlie taxied the family around, I took Alessia on a date. I took her to go jumping. It seems to be a common thing here to have public trampolines. You pay a couple of euros and get 10 minutes of jumping time inside a cage of multiple trampolines. Kids seem to love it. I think it is a pretty neat idea. We got gelato and she read the street signs to me in Italian. She has been learning to read this year in school. She also corrected my Italian as we walked. Ah, quality time.